Isolation- The Ultimate Poison

January 10th, 2007 by honheesiew

Remove the sponge cell from the sponge, prevent it from finding its way back
to its brethren, and it dies. Scrape a liver cell from the liver and in its
isolation it too will shrivel and give up life. But what happens if you remove
a human from his social bonds, wrenching him from the superorganism of which he
or she is a part?

In the 1940’s, the psychologist Rene Spitz studied human babies isolated
from their mothers. These were the infants of women too poor to care for their
children, infants who had been placed permanently in a foundling home. There,
the children were kept in what Spitz called "solitary confinement,"
placed in cribs with sheets hung from the sides so that the only thing the
babies could see was the ceiling. Nurses seldom looked in on them more than a
few times a day. And even when feeding time came, the babies were left alone
with just the companionship of a bottle. Hygiene in the homes was impeccable.
But without being held, loved, and woven into the fabric of a social web, the
resistance of these babies was lowered. Thirty four out of 91 died. In other
foundling homes, the death rate was even higher. In some, it climbed to a
devastating 90%. A host of other studies have shown the same thing. Babies can
be given food, shelter, warmth and hygiene. But if they are not held and
stroked, they have an abnormal tendency to die.

Two means have been discovered to produce depression in laboratory animals:
uncontrollable punishment and isolation. Put an animal in a cage by himself,
separated from his nestmates, and he will lose interest in food and sex, have
trouble sleeping, and undergo a muddling of the brain.

Tampering with bonds to the larger social organism can have powerful
consequences. In humans, feeling you’re unwanted can stunt your growth. The
flow of growth hormones, according to recent research, is affected strongly by
"psychosocial factors." Monkeys taken away from their families and
friends experience blockage of the arteries and heart disease. On the other
hand, rabbits who are petted and hugged live 60% longer.

When their mates die, male hamsters stop eating and sleeping, and often
succumb to death themselves. They are not alone. A British study indicated that
in the first year after a wife dies, a widower has a 40% greater risk of death.
In another study at New York’s Mount Sinai School of Medicine, men who had lost
wives to breast cancer experienced a sharp drop in the activity of their immune
system one to two months after the loss. A survey of 7,000 inhabitants of
Alameda County, California, showed that "isolation and the lack of social
and community ties" opened the door to illness and an early demise.

An even broader investigation by James J. Lynch of actuarial and statistical
data on victims of cardiovascular disease indicated that an astonishing
percentage of the million or so Americans killed by heart problems each year
have an underlying difficulty that seems to trigger their sickness: "lack
of warmth and meaningful relationships with others." On the other hand,
research in Europe suggested that kissing on a regular basis provides
additional oxygen and stimulates the output of antibodies.

Closeness to others can heal. Separation can kill.

The cutting of the ties that bind can be fatal even in the wild. Jane
Goodall, the researcher who has studied chimpanzees in the Gombe game preserve
of Africa since 1960, saw the principle at work in a young animal named Flint.
When Flint was born, his mother adored him. And he, in turn, doted on her. She
hugged him, played with him, and tickled him until his tiny, wrinkled face
broke out in the broad equivalent of a chimpanzee smile. The two were
inseparable.

When Flint reached the age of three, however, the time came for his mother
to wean him. But Flo, the mother, was old and weak. And Flint, the chimpanzee
child, was young and strong. Flo turned her back and tried to keep her son away
from the nipple. But Flint flew into wild tantrums, lashed about violently on
the ground, and ran off screaming. Finally, a worried Flo was forced to calm
her son by offering him her breast. Later, Flint developed even more aggressive
techniques for ensuring his supply of mother’s milk. If Flo tried to shrug him
off, Flint struck her with his fists, and punctuated the pummeling with sharp
bites.

At an age when other chimps have freed themselves from parental apron
strings, Flint was still acting like a baby. Though he was a strapping young
lad, and his mother was increasingly feeble, Flint insisted that his mama carry
him everywhere. If Flo stopped to rest and Flint was anxious to taste the fruit
of the trees at their next destination, the hulking child would push, prod and
whimper to get his mom moving again. Then he’d climb on her back and enjoy the
ride. When shoves and whines didn’t motivate his mother to pick him up and cart
him where he wanted to go, Flint would occasionally give the exhausted lady a
strong kick. At night, Flint was old enough to build a sleeping nest of his
own. Instead, he insisted on climbing into bed with his mommy.

Flint should have turned his attention from Flo to the other chimps his age,
forging ties to the superorganism–the chimpanzee tribe–of which he was a
part. But he did not. The consequence would be devastating.

Flint’s mother died. Theoretically, Flint’s instincts should have urged him
to survive. But three weeks later, he went back to the spot where his mother
had breathed her last and curled up in a fetal ball. Within a few days, he too
was dead.

An autopsy revealed that there was nothing physically wrong with Flint: no
infection, no disease, no handicap. In all probability, the youngster’s death
had been caused by the simian equivalent of that voice which tells humans going
through a similar loss that there’s nothing left to live for. Flint had been
cut loose from his single bond to the superorganism. That separation had killed
him.

Social attachment is just as vital to human beings. Research psychiatrist
Dr. George Engel collected 275 newspaper accounts of sudden death. He
discovered that 156 had been caused by severe damage to social ties. One
hundred and thirty five deaths had been triggered by "a traumatic event in
a close human relationship." Another 21 had been brought on by "loss
of sta- tus, humiliation, failure or defeat." In one instance, the
president of a college had been forced to retire by the Board of Trustees at
the age of 59. As he delivered his final speech, he collapsed with a heart
attack. One of his closest friends, a doctor, rushed to the stage to save him.
But the strain of losing his companion was too much for the physician. He, too,
fell to the floor of the platform and died of heart failure.

Our need for each other is not only built into the foundation of our
biological structure, it is also the cornerstone of our psyche. Humans are so
uncontrollably social that when we’re wandering around at home where no one can
see us, we talk to ourselves. When we smash our thumb with a hammer we curse to
no one in particular. In a universe whose heavens seem devoid of living matter,
we address ourselves skyward to gods, angels and the occasional
extra-terrestrial.

Our need for other people shapes even the minor details of our lives. In the
early 1980s, a group of architects decided to study the use of public spaces
outside modern office buildings. For over twenty years, architects had assumed
that people long for moments of quiet contemplation, walled off from the bustle
of the world. As a consequence, they had planned their buildings with solitary
courtyards separated from the street. What the architects discovered, to their
astonishment, was that people shunned their secluded spots. Instead, they
parked themselves on low walls and steps near the packed sidewalks. Humans, it
seemed, had an inordinate desire to gawk at others of their kind.

Even mere distortions in the bonds of social connectedness can affect
health. According to a study by J. Stephen Heisel of the Charles River Hospital
in Boston, the activity of natural killer cells–the body’s defenders from
disease–is low for people who, on the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Test,
demonstrate depression, social withdrawal, guilt, low self esteem, pessimism
and maladjustment. Those who withdraw have pulled away from the embrace of
their fellows. Those with guilt are certain that their sins have marked them
for social rejection. The maladjusted have failed to mesh with those around
them. And those with low self-esteem are convinced that others have good reason
to shun them. In the study, low natural killer cell activity wasn’t linked to
use of medication, alcohol, marijuana or recent medical treatment–just to
measures of impaired social connection.

Meyer Friedman, the doctor who delineated the Type A and Type B personality
and its relationship to heart disease, says, "If you don’t think what you
do is very important, and if you feel that if you died, nobody’s going to
mourn, you’re asking for illness."

Even the well-being of the men we would imagine to be most invulnerable to
social forces depends on the sense that the superorganism needs them. When
President Dwight Eisenhower had his heart attack on September 24, 1955, mail
came in by the sackful from all over the world. Ike said, "It really does
something for you to know that people all over the world are praying for
you." Eisenhower’s doctor sensed that the president’s position in the
social network could heal him. He insisted that Ike’s aides continue to discuss
business with the recuperating president, making him feel he was still
important. Eventually, Ike went to Camp David for five weeks of rest. It was
the worst thing he could have done. Stripped of his sense of social purpose, he
went into severe depression. It was the first setback Eisenhower had
experienced since his heart attack. The ailing chief executive eventually
recovered…when he was allowed to go back to work.

Finding himself necessary to the social organism had a similar impact on
another warrior–Colonel T.E. Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia. In the Middle East,
Lawrence had been a dashing, energetic figure. He had dressed as an Arab, and
worked hard to win the respect of tribal leaders. He had taught himself to jump
nine feet onto the back of a camel, something few Arabs could accomplish. He
had steeled himself to ride across the desert for days without food. He had
stretched his limits until he’d gained an endurance far beyond that of the
average desert dweller, and he was admired greatly for it.

At the same time, Lawrence convinced the British that he could successfully
mobilize the Arab nomads into a unified fighting force. With that force,
Lawrence argued, he could help defeat the Germans and Turks in the First World
War. The success of his argument boosted his power. When he rode into a circle
of bedouin tents, his camels frequently carried several million dollars worth
of gold–a gift to cement his negotiations with the desert chieftains.

Using bribery and the force of his personal reputation, Lawrence drew
together the widely-scattered Arab tribes to storm Akaba. His force took the
city despite seemingly impossible odds, defeating a small Turkish army in the
process. After riding the desert for days, and leading the charge in two suc-
cessful battles, Lawrence was totally exhausted. Yet when he realized his
troops in Akaba were starving, he mounted his camel and rode three days and
three nights, covering 250 miles, eating and drinking on his camel’s back, to
reach the Gulf of Suez and summon help from a British ship.

The sense that he was critical to the success of the social organism had
given the young British officer an almost unbelievable physical endurance. When
at last the war was over, Lawrence rode into the city of Damascus in a Rolls
Royce as one of the conquerors of the massive Turkish Empire.

But once the fighting ended and Lawrence was forced to pack his Arab robes
away and return to England, he felt totally out of place. True, he had friends
in high places–Winston Churchill and George Bernard Shaw, among others. But he
felt wrenched from the social body into which he had welded himself. He was
bereft of purpose–unneeded by the larger social beast. Lawrence went back to
live in his parents’ home. His mother said that the former war hero would come
down to breakfast in the morning, and would still remain sitting at the table
by lunchtime, staring vacantly at the same object that had occupied his gaze
hours earlier, unmoving, unmotivated.

Eventually, at the age of 47, Lawrence died on a lonely country road, victim
of a motorcycle accident. Or was he really the victim of something far more
subtle?

Not long before his death, Lawrence wrote to Eric Kennington, "You
wonder what I am doing? Well, so do I, in truth. Days seem to dawn, suns to
shine, evenings to follow, and then I sleep. What I have done, what I am doing,
what I am going to do, puzzle me and bewilder me. Have you ever been a leaf and
fallen from your tree in autumn and been really puzzled about it? That’s the
feeling." Experts on suicide explain that vehicular accidents often occur
to those who are depressed and courting death. Was it mere chance, then, that
T.E. Lawrence, a man of almost superhuman physical skills, was killed by a bit
of sloppy driving on a vehicle he had used for years? Or had the former leader
of the Arabs’ inner calculators come to the conclusion that, like the un-needed
cell in a complex organism, it was time for him to simply slip away?

excerpted from Howard Bloom’s
The Lucifer Principle
A Scientific Expedition Into The Forces of History
 

Death Wishlist

October 13th, 2006 by honheesiew

Death
Wishlist

Whenever I
walk past a funeral, I can’t help but imagine how it would be like to have my
picture there and having friends and relatives coming to pay their respects.
Who will moan my passing? Who can’t wait to see me buried? How does it feel to
see this body lying in the coffin? After all, this body that I’m in currently
is likely the makeup of my past karma that determined certain conditions that I
am in. I probably had died many times over (yes, I believe in reincarnation).
There is no eternal permanent self. The eternal self or soul, “I”, does not
exist. (well, this topic of “non-self” shall be discussed in another time) .
When the time is up, this body expires, and off to the next adventure I go,
according to my karma.

Let’s face
it, death is inevitable. The question is when and how. How will I die? Let’s
look at a few possible death scenarios.

Scenario 1:
Freak accident

Imagine as
I walk out of the void deck and a killer litter in the shape of a flower pot
lands on my head. Death comes swift and clean. Instantaneous. I suddenly find
this body lying in a pool of blood. Ok, I will go wtf happened! Who the fuck
dropped this on me?! This is quite an embarrassing exit.

Scenario 2:
Old Age

Frail,
immobile, stricken with organs failure, I go away peacefully in my sleep.
Almost ideal except for the painful slow body malfunctions along the way.

Scenario 3:
Murder by mistake

Stabbed in
the back by a drunkard, I bleed to death as I lay helplessly on cold empty
streets. If I had just found the love of my life and then got murdered by
mistake after I sent her home, this will be one sweet death that I will cherish
for a long time. I hope my karma is not this bad for such an exit.

Scenario 4:
Automobile Accident

I escaped
this in May. I’ve seen horrible automobile accidents pictures where the body
got disfigured beyond recognition. Not a pretty way to leave.

The
scenarios are endless. You will never know how you will make your grand exit
until it happens. Many people have such paralyzing fear for death that it prevents
them from truly living. Truly living, of course, is defined by each
individual’s definition of happiness. What gives them joy and happiness? Death
should spur living fully because it makes you realize how short life is and not
to get too caught up with human social constructions and ego.

I will not
know how I will die, but I know how I want to live. There are many things I
wish to do before the curtains come down. Let me make my death wishlist right
here, right now. In no particular order:

  1. Watch bjork sing live!
  2. Catch U2 live in concert!
  3. Backpack South America a la Motorcycle Diaries and see Machu Picchu
  4. Open a jazz joint with live jazz band and dj setup
  5. Backpack Tibet (fulfilling soon!)
  6. Backpack Spain and party in Ibiza
  7. Attend Sonar
  8. Attend Fuji Rock Concert
  9. Watch Man Utd play in Old Trafford
  10. Watch the World Cup Final in the stadium
  11. Get a French or polish girlfriend (ha!)
  12. Start a charitable foundation to alleviate suffering
  13. Learn an instrument and busk in Europe
  14. DJ for an hour set
  15. Become a monk
  16. Attain Enlightenment (unlikely in this lifetime I think)

At this
point, this is the wishlist. I believe it will change as time goes by and
perspectives shift. However, I don’t think it will change that much, only more
things to add for my craving heart.

Let’s see how many I can fulfill in this
lifetime.

Karma

August 9th, 2006 by honheesiew

(Disclaimer:
This is entirely based on my understanding of Karma. There may contain wrong
views, due to my own misinterpretation. I would advise you to read this with a
pinch of salt and seek truth on your own by reading Buddhist materials, if truth
is what you are looking for)

Buddhism,
contrary to most peoples’ misconception, is very progressive, “avant garde” and
relevant in today’s society as it was more than 2600 years ago in India and
probably many thousand years from now.

Many have
this idea that Buddhism is outdated, archaic and for the old uneducated aunties
and uncles. They associate Buddhism to incense burning, idol worshipping, and
superstitions. Well, let the truth be told, Buddhism IS for old uneducated
aunties and uncles. It IS also for intellectuals and the highly educated. It
caters to people of all levels of consciousness. This is the beauty of
Buddhism. It can be very simple and very abstract.

Buddha is
an advocate for investigative enquiry and He eschews blind faith, superstitions
and dogma. Only through intense scrutiny and rational critique can a concept be
established as truth. Truth is to be understood and deeply examined and nothing
is too ‘sacred’ to be criticized and debated on. This was and is one of the
biggest breakthrough in human thought during that time. How progressive and
relevant is this idea even till today! Investigative enquiry! CSI in 2,600
years ago!

Karma is
one of the central teachings of Buddha. There are a few layman ways to describe
what Karma is:

  1. What goes around comes around
  2. You reap what you sow
  3. What you do unto others, you do unto yourself

Karma is
simply a law of cause and effect. Like the law of gravity, it is a law that
governs the moral aspect of our inner world. Like a fire that can be extinguished
with water and burn brighter and fiercer with petrol, it does not have any
emotion, nor is it a law arbiter.

When an
ignorant young boy places his hand in fire, he will get burnt. It does not
matter if the boy is kind hearted or evil because the fire does not know the
boy, it only knows that it will burn any thing that comes in contact with it.
Similarly, it does not matter if a person does not know or believe in gravity,
because living on planet earth, he cannot escape from it.

Inequalities
exist in every facet of our world. The wealthy minority, the starving majority,
the infirmed and the healthy, and the list goes on. Some people are born with a
silver spoon, some people are born in war torn countries. How is it that some
are ‘luckier’ than others? Karma is it.

Karma is
NOT fatalistic or deterministic. It is not ETERNAL DAMNATION. No one faces
eternal hell. Even the most brutal killer can change and start to do good deeds
to accumulate good Karma. Those who committed too many evil deeds will suffer
their own bad karma. However, their ‘punishment’ is not eternal. Once their bad
karma expires and their good karma takes precedence again, they will be able to
‘start afresh’. Similarly, if a person accumulates a lot of good karma, he will
have pleasant experiences and conditions in his life or next lives, for
example, always meeting good people to guide his spiritual path, understanding
Buddhism, born in a safe and stable country that allows him to seek spiritual
progression, etc. However, good karma can be depleted too, like a bank account,
if it’s not ‘top-up’. Hence, it’s all up to the individual’s efforts to create
his own experience here in this realm or in other realms.

Karma
determines the conditions/ environment that a person will experience in his
current life or his next lives. This is very relevant in today’s context
because a lot of destruction and misguided greed occur because people believe
that they have 1 and only life to live. With this mindset, there is no need to
‘think too much’. One only has to satisfy one’s sensual pleasures as much as
possible and ‘heck-care’ about the future. This attitude will create more
suffering, hence as what we have continuously witnessed in our current dire
world conditions and throughout our short known and written history.

Nobody can
change anybody’s karma. Not even Buddha. When Buddha became enlightened, one of
the first things he emphasized was that he wasn’t a GOD and that everybody has
a Buddha nature in them that they can realize. Buddha is omniscient but not
omnipotent. He is enlightened and He knows what Karma is. He can only show the
path, explain the mechanism of Karma, so that people can understand and
alleviate their suffering. This means that there’s no ‘cheater code’ available,
no easy way out, no Chosen People, no special ones. One has to depend on one’s
own efforts to create one’s salvation. This is excellent. This is fair. This is
egalitarian. This is justice and accountability.

How can
anyone get ‘good’ karma? What deeds are considered ‘good’? This is how Buddha
puts it:

“When you
yourselves know:

‘These
things are bad, blameable, censured by the wise: undertaken and observed, these
things lead to harm and ill’

Abandon
them…

“When you
yourselves know:

‘These
things are good, blameless, praised by the wise: undertaken and observed, these
things lead to benefit and happiness.’

Enter on
and abide in them.”

In short,
the definition of a good or bad deed is through knowing it ourselves. No matter
how much we try to rationalize something sometimes, we KNOW we are
rationalizing. Deep down, we can hear a voice inside us that tells us when we
are doing something that is wrong. Rationalization is an attempt to drown that
voice. It’s a futile attempt. The unease and discomfort remain even when we try
and rationalize a ‘wrong’ deed.

I wonder:
If karma is to be taught as a school philosophical/moral education subject,
will it be able to stand on the ground of validity? Will it benefit society? If
everybody knows that his rationalized actions will haunt him one day, will he
be deterred? Will he adopt a course of action that will genuinely benefit most
people, to the best of his intent? If the tenets of power are sprouted from the seeds of Buddhist thought, will the world be a better place?

Buddhism and Science

August 6th, 2006 by honheesiew

Buddhism
and Science:
Probing the Boundaries of Faith and Reason

Dr. Martin J. Verhoeven

 

Western interest in Eastern religions, especially
Buddhism, historically coincided with the rise of modern science and the
corresponding perceived decline of religious orthodoxy in the West. Put simply:
Modern science initiated a deep spiritual crisis that led to an unfortunate
split between faith and reason—a split yet to be reconciled. Buddhism was seen
as an "alternative altar," a bridge that could reunite the estranged
worlds of matter and spirit. Thus, to a large extent Buddhism’s flowering in
the West during the last century came about to satisfy post-Darwinian needs to
have religious beliefs grounded in new scientific truth.

                
As science still constitutes something of a "religion" in the West,
the near-absolute arbiter of truth, considerable cachet still attends the
linking of Buddhism to science. Such comparison and assimilation is inevitable
and in some ways, healthy. At the same time, we need to examine more closely to
what extent the scientific paradigm actually conveys the meaning of Dharma.
Perhaps the resonance between Buddhism and Western science is not as
significant as we think. Ironically, adapting new and unfamiliar Buddhist
conceptions to more ingrained Western thought-ways, like science, renders
Buddhism more popular and less exotic; it also threatens to dilute its impact
and distort its content.

          
Historians since the end of World War II, have suggested that the encounter between
East and West represents the most significant event of the modern era. Bertrand
Russell pointed to this shift at the end of World War II when he wrote, “If we
are to feel at home in the world, we will have to admit Asia to equality in our
thoughts, not only politically, but culturally. What changes this will bring, I
do not know. But I am convinced they will be profound and of the greatest
importance.”

More recently,
the historian Arthur Versluis, in a new book, American Transcendentalism and
Asian Religions
(1993), pieced together five or six major historical
views on this subject, and presented this by way of conclusion:

However much people today realize it, the
encounter of Oriental and Occidental religious and philosophical traditions, of
Buddhist and Christian and Hindu and Islamic perspectives, must be regarded as
one of the most extraordinary meetings of our age. . . . Arnold Toynbee once
wrote that of all the historical changes in the West, the most important—and
the one whose effects have been least understood—is the meeting of Buddhism in
the Occident. . . . And when and if our era is considered in light of larger
societal patterns and movements, there can be no doubt that the meeting of East
and West, the mingling of the most ancient traditions in the modern world, will
form a much larger part of history than we today with our political-economic
emphases, may think.

          
These are not isolated opinions. Many writers, scholars, intellectuals,
scientists, and theologians have proclaimed the importance of the meeting of
East and West. Occidental interest in the Orient predates the modern era. There
is evidence of significant contact between East and West well before the
Christian era. Even in the New World, curiosity and interchange existed right
from the beginning, as early as the 1700s. One can find allusions to Asian
religions in Cotton Mather, Benjamin Franklin, Walt Whitman, and of course,
more developed expressions in Henry David Thoreau, and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

          
By the mid-twentieth century this growing fascination with Asian thought led Arnold Toynbee
to envision a new world civilization emerging from a convergence of East and
West. He anticipated that the spiritual philosophies of Asia would touch
profoundly on the three basic dimensions of human existence: Our relationships
with each other (social); with ourselves (psychological); and, with the
physical world (natural). What is the shape and significance of this encounter?
What does Buddhism contribute to the deeper currents of Western thought; and
more specifically, to our struggle to reconcile faith with reason, religion
with science?

          
Science was already the ascendant intellectual sovereign when Buddhism made its
first serious entry on the American scene in the latter decades of the 19th
century. A World’s Parliament of Religions, held in conjunction with the 1893
Colombian Exposition in Chicago, brought to America for the first time a large
number of Asian representatives of the Buddhist faith. These missionaries
actively and impressively participated in an open forum with Western
theologians, scientists, ministers, scholars, educators, and reformers. This
unprecedented ecumenical event in the American heartland came at a most
opportune time. America was ready and eager for a new source of inspiration, ex
orient lux
, the ‘light of Asia.’

          
By the 1890s America was caught in the throes of a spiritual crisis affecting
Christendom worldwide. Modern scientific discoveries had so undermined a
literal interpretation of sacred scripture, that for many educated and
thoughtful people, it was no longer certain that God was in his heaven and that
all was right with the world. These rapid changes and transformations in almost
every aspect of traditional faith, had such irreversible corrosive effects on
religious orthodoxy, that they were dubbed, "acids of modernity."
They ate away at received convictions, and ushered in an unprecedented erosion
of belief. People like my grandparents, brought up with rock-solid belief in
the infallible word of God, found their faith shaken to its very foundations.
It was as if overnight they suddenly awoke to a new world governed not by
theological authority but by scientists. New disclosures from the respected
disciplines of geology, biology, and astronomy challenged and shattered
Biblical accounts of the origins of the natural world and our place and purpose
in it.          Sigmund Freud captured
the spirit of the age well when he said “the self-love of mankind has been
three times wounded by science.” The Copernican Revolution, continued by
Galileo, took our little planet out of the center position in the universe. The
Earth, held to be the physical and metaphysical center of the Universe, was
reduced to a tiny speck revolving around a sun. Then Darwin all but eliminated
the divide between animal and man, and with it the "special creation"
status enjoyed by humans. Darwin, moreover, diminished God. The impersonal
forces of natural selection kept things going; no divine power was necessary.
Nor, from what any competent scientist could demonstrate with any factual
certainty, was any Divinity even evident—either at the elusive
"creation," or in the empirical present. Karl Marx people portrayed
people as economic animals grouped into competing classes driven by material
self-interest. Finally, Freud himself characterized religious faith as an
evasion of truth, a comforting illusion sustained by impulses and desires
beyond the reach of the rational intellect. Nietzsche’s famous declaration that
“God is Dead” may have seemed extreme, but few would have denied that God was
ailing. And certainly the childhood version of a personal, all-powerful God
that created the world and ruled over it with justice and omniscience was for
many a comforting vision lost forever.

          
One of the lingering side effects of this loss has been the unfortunate
disjunction of matter and spirit that afflicts the modern age. It can assume
many forms: a split between matter and spirit, a divorce between faith and
reason, a dichotomy between facts and values. At a more personal level, it
manifests as a mind-body dualism. An unwelcome spiritual and psychological
legacy from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, it is still very much with
us today, something that haunts our psyches.

          
Much of today’s near-obsession with therapy in the West, and even the shift
toward psychologizing religion (including the “New Age” phenomenon) could be
seen as attempts to heal this deep sense of alienation. The pragmatic philosopher,
John Dewey, wrote: “The pathological segregation of facts and value, matter and
spirit, or the bifurcation of nature, this integration [i. e. the problem of
integrating this] poses the deepest problem of modern life.” This problem both
inspires and confounds contemporary philosophy and religion. Wholeness eludes
us while the split endures; and yet, almost tragically, the very means we have
available to heal it insure its continuation. For, all of our philosophies,
academic disciplines, therapies, and even religious traditions are informed by
and rooted in aspects of this dualism. Perhaps the most visible expression of
this pathological segregation is the gap between science and religion.

          
Thus, when the eminent philosopher and mathematician Alfred North Whitehead
scanned the broad outlines of our time, he wrote: “The future course of history
would center on this generation’s resolving the issue of the proper
relationship between science and religion, so fundamental are the religious symbols
through which people give meaning to their lives and so powerful the scientific
knowledge through which we shape and control our lives.” And it is in regard to
this troubling issue, I think, that Eastern religions, particularly Buddhism,
are seen to hold out the promise of achieving some resolution. The idea dates
back over a hundred years.

          
After the 1893 Chicago Parliament of World Religions, one Paul Carus, a
Chicago-based editor of the Open Court Press, invited some of the influential Japanese
Buddhist delegates to a week-long discussion at the home of Carus’s
father-in-law, Edward Hegeler. Both deeply felt the spiritual crisis of the
times. Both were trying to reform Christianity to bring it in line with current
thought; in short, to make religion scientific. It occurred to them that
Buddhism was already compatible with science, and could be used to nudge
Christianity in the same direction. Toward this end, Carus wanted to support a
Buddhist missionary movement to the United States from Asia. His thinking was
to create something of a level playing field. Carus had witnessed the most
ambitious missionary undertaking in modern history that send thousands of
Protestant missionaries abroad to convert the people ‘sitting in darkness.’ He
wished to conduct a Darwinian experiment of ’survival of the fittest." His
goal: to bring Buddhist missionaries to America where they could engage in
healthy competition with their Christian counterparts in the East, and thus
determine the "fittest" to survive.

          
With the aid of his wealthy father-in-law who put up money, they sponsored a
number of Eastern missionaries to the United States: Anagarika Dharmapala, from
what was then Ceylon, now Sri Lanka; Swami Vivekananda, from India representing
the Ramakrishna Vedanta movement; and Soyen Shaku, a Japanese Buddhist monk,
and Shaku’s young disciple D.T. Suzuki. During his stay in the United States in
the late 1890s and early 1900s, Suzuki lived in the small town of LaSalle/Peru,
Illinois. He was in his twenties then, and for about eleven years he worked
closely with Paul Carus translating Buddhist texts into English and putting out
inexpensive paperback editions of the Asian classics. Suzuki later became the
leading exponent of Zen in the West, when he returned in the 1950s on a
Rockefeller grant to lecture extensively at East Coast colleges.  He
influenced writers and thinkers like Carl Jung, Karen Horney, Erich Fromm,
Martin Heidegger, Thomas Merton, Alan Watts, and the "beat Buddhists"—Jack
Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, and Gary Snyder. Suzuki died in 1966 in Tokyo. His
influence in the West was profound—making Zen an English word, translating
Asian texts into English, stimulating a scholarly interest in the Orient among
American intellectuals, and deepening American respect and enthusiasm for
Buddhism. The historian Lynn White Jr. praised Suzuki as someone who broke
through the "shell of the Occident" and made the West’s thinking
global. His introduction to the West came about through the hands of Paul Carus.

 

          
These early missionaries of Buddhism to the West, including Carus himself, all
shared the same modern, reformist outlook. They translated Buddhism into a
medium and a message compatible and resonant with the scientific and
progressive spirit of the Age. They selectived passages of text to favor that
slant, and carefully presented the Buddhist teachings in such a way as to
appeal to modern sensibilities—empirical, rational, and liberal. Americans
wanted religion to "make sense," to accord with conventional wisdom.
Then, as now, our primary mode of making sense of things was
positivist—reliable knowledge based on natural phenomena as verified by
empirical sciences. So firmly entrenched is the scientific outlook that it has
for all practical purposes taken on a near-religious authority. Few, then or
now, critically question our faith in science; we presume its validity and give
it an almost unquestioned place as the arbiter of truth.
       

          
Thus, the early missionaries of Buddhism to America purposely stripped Buddhism
of any elements that might appear superstitious, mythological, even mystical.
Dharmapala, Suzuki, and Vivekananda clearly ascertained that Americans measured
truth in science, and science posed little theological threat to a Buddhist and
Hindu worldview. After all, Buddhism had unique advantages for someone who
rejected their faith (Christian) due to its authoritarianism and unscientific
outlook:

1) Buddhism did
not assert or depend upon the existence of a God

2) Buddhism was a
superstition-free moral ideal; it conformed to the scientific view of an
ordered universe ruled by law (Dharma)—a system both moral and physical where
everything seemed to work itself out inexorably over vast periods of time
without divine intervention (karma)

3) Buddhism
posited no belief in gods who could alter the workings of this natural law

4) Buddhism was a
religion of self-help with all depending on the individual working out his/her
own salvation

5)
"Original" Buddhism was seen as the "Protestantism of
Asia," and Buddha as another Luther who swept away the superstitions and
rituals of an older, corrupted form and took religion back to its pure and
simple origins

6) Buddhism
presented an attractive personal founder who led life of great self-sacrifice;
parallels were drawn between Jesus and Buddha as the inspiration of a personal
figure exerted strong appeal to seekers who had given up on theology and
metaphysics.

          
Thus, Buddhism was packaged and presented in its most favorable light viz a viz
the current spiritual crisis in the West; and, not surprisingly, Buddhism
seemed immensely reasonable and appealing to Americans. Darwinism might be
undermining Biblical Christianity, but it only enhanced Buddhism’s standing.

 

          
In fact, Darwin’s theory of evolution, which struck the most severe blow to the
Judaeo-Christian edifice, was taken up as the leading banner for Buddhist
propagation. With Darwin the concept of evolution became enshrined in the
popular mind. Everything was evolutionary—species, races, nations, economies,
religions, the universe—from the micro to the macro. Social Darwinists even saw
evolution operating behind the vicissitudes of free-market capitalism. As the
constant interaction of stimulus and response in nature, evolution seemed to
match nicely with the notion of karma—the cyclical unfolding of events governed
by the law of cause and effect. So Anagarika Dharmapala could announce in
Chicago to his largely Judaeo-Christian audience that "the theory of
evolution was one of the ancient teachings of the Buddha." As it was in
nature (at least in the new natural world of Darwin), so it was in the Buddhist
universe.

          
Most people drawn to Eastern religions did not examine very closely the supposed
identity of Darwin’s evolution and the Buddhist concept of karma. They were
content, even predisposed, to imagine them the same. Buddhists ardent to
convert Americans to Buddhism, as well as Christians eager to find some
correspondence between modern science and their beleaguered faith, were happy
to say, “Yes, the similarities are close enough;  look, how the ancient
Eastern religions anticipated our modern science!" Vivekananda, the
charismatic and eloquent Ramakrishna delegate from India, met only hurrahs of
affirmation when he proclaimed to a Chicago audience that the latest
discoveries of science seemed "like the echoes from the high spiritual
flights of Vedantic philosophy."

          
This facile view that Buddhism and science were cut of the same cloth accorded
nicely with the longing to reconnect the sacred and the secular. It held out
hope that religion could once again assume its rightful place alongside (if no
longer in the lead of) the emerging disciplines of biology, geology, and
physics. It also fit neatly with the presumed "unity of truth" that
Victorians held to so dearly—there could only be one truth, not two. The very
nature of reality demanded that the truths of science and religion be one and
the same.  Carus called his new system of thought "the Religion
of  Science," and Max Muller called his new theology "the
Science of Religion."

          
This trend linking Buddhism to science continued, even accelerated, into the
20th century. Einstein’s work and further developments in the new cutting-edge
physics seemed to provide even further evidence that science and Buddhism were
merely different rivers leading to the same sea. Where the old theologies
crumbled under the juggernaut of science, Buddhism seemed to hold its own, even
thrive. The early (and even contemporary) exponents of Buddhism pushed this
idea. It remains an area of great promise and interest; but it is not one
without difficulties.

          
One of the first to question this marriage, interestingly, was also one of its
earliest  proponents, D.T. Suzuki. When Suzuki came to the United States
to collaborate with Paul Carus, both were outspoken advocates of the link
between Buddhism and science. Suzuki’s early writings make virtually no
distinction between Buddhism and science. For Suzuki, Buddhism was eminently
modern and progressive, compatible with the latest discoveries in Western
psychology and philosophy. It was, in a word, scientifically sound.

          
By the time Suzuki returned to the United States in the 1950s, however, he had
experienced a change of heart. He then wrote that his initial thinking—that
religion must be based on scientific grounds and that Christianity was based on
too much mythology—was a little ill-founded. An older, perhaps wiser Suzuki,
came to doubt the sufficiency of a religion based on science, and even saw the
need for religion to critique science. In 1959, Suzuki wrote that his early
modernist agreement with Hegeler and Carus that "religion must stand on
scientific grounds…Christianity was based too much on mythology," was
ill-founded. "If it were possible for me to talk with them now," he
reflected, "I would tell them that my ideas have changed from theirs
somewhat. I now think that a religion based solely on science is not enough.
There are certain ‘mythological’ elements in every one of us, which cannot be
altogether lost in favor of science. This is a conviction I have come
to." 

          
What had changed? First of all, two world wars. As the contemporary writer Kurt
Vonnegut  has wryly observed, “We took scientific truth and dropped it on
the people of Hiroshima.” Suzuki was, of course, Japanese; he felt directly the
negative weight of modern science. Having survived the brutal experience of a
war initiated, carried out, and ended with weapons of mass destruction born of
modern science, he was left less sanguine about the idyllic marriage with
religion and science that he had heralded at the turn of the century. Suzuki
was enjoying the wisdom of hindsight; but in fairness to Suzuki, so were many
other people.

          
Since Suzuki’s turnabout in 1959, there have  been even further, more
fundamental challenges to the presumed closeness of Buddhism and science.
Questions have arisen in two areas. One, as a society we have come to reassess
the blessings and the promise of modern science in terms of the
socio-psychological impact. While people are mesmerized by science and dream
about what science can do for them, they also have nightmares about what
science can do to them. This bittersweet realization lingers in the
contemporary psyche: we dream about all the wonderful things science is going
to do for us; at the same time we are haunted by unsettling specters of the
dreadful things science could do to us. This concern and troubling ambivalence
seems to grow, not diminish, with each scientific advance.

          
At the popular level, movies and television play on variations of the
Frankenstein, Godzilla, the X-Files motif, reflecting anxieties over
science-gone-wrong. These "monsters" give form (albeit imaginary) to
some of humanity’s deepest fears. They reflect not only the apprehension of
Pandora’s box unearthed, but more significantly, the hubris of human pride and
lust for power unrestrained. Nowhere is this more evident than in the new field
of biotechnology—the actual manipulation of life at the subtle genetic source.
Scientists now talk of the end of evolution, the end of nature, in the sense
that humans will soon replace nature to direct the course of creation
themselves. Doctor Panayiotis Zavos, who is now actively engaged in producing
the first human clone, announced proudly, “Now that we have crossed into the
third millennium, we have the technology to break the rules of nature.”

          
Thus, the development and unleashing of "advanced" weapons of mass
destruction through two World Wars, the Cold War, and now almost daily in
"hot spots" throughout the world; the unenlightened tampering with
nature that has brought about widespread environmental pollution; the almost cavalier
experiments with human reproduction, cloning, genetically engineered life,
chemical-biological warfare—all threaten to make reality more frightening than
fiction.

          
The second area of doubt regarding modern science arises from within the scientific
community itself. The last decades of the 20th century have seen an internal
reexamination take place within almost every scientific discipline, as each has
been forced to question its own foundations and exclusive claims to truth. We
are in the midst of a major paradigm shift, the outcome of which still remains
unclear. It revolves around a loss of the positivistic certainty that science
once enjoyed and now finds slipping away. Ironically, the scientific
"establishment" finds itself confronting a challenge to its exclusive
authority that in many ways mirrors the spiritual crisis that religious
orthodoxy faced with the triumph of modern science.

          
Sigmund Freud exemplifies this ironic shift. Perhaps more than any modern
thinker, he contributed to the undermining of religious certainty. He stated
quite unequivocally that “an illusion would be to suppose that what science
would not give us, we can get elsewhere.” Elsewhere, of course, refers to
religion, as he made clear in his pessimistic indictment of religion in The
Future of an Illusion
. And yet his own psychoanalytic theory has become a
matter of intense debate, and has come under the critical scrutiny of the very
scientific system he felt would validate his ideas. But it is in areas other
than psychology, most notably in physics, and increasingly in the life
sciences, that a growing body of new knowledge is beginning to strain existing
models of explanation and understanding.

 

          
With the ground-breaking work of Niels Bohr, Heisenberg, and Sir Arthur
Eddington, the rock-solid presupposition central to that classical scientific
thought began to crumble. With the "new science" that started to
emerge in the post-World War II era, the  observer and the observed could
not be presumed separate and distinct. Gone too was the neat subject/object
distinction that had come to define classical science. This shift away from the
study of the "outside" objective world of nature to the
"inner" subjective world of the observer is a hallmark of the new
science. As Heisenberg observed, “Even in science, the object of research is no
longer nature itself, but man’s investigation of nature.”

          
For example, Heisenberg pointed out that the very act of measurement interfered
with what one was attempting to measure. You cannot separate the subject from
the object of the experiment. So, if the scientist changes the very nature of
the "reality" he or she investigates, then what is truth? What is
purely objective fact? Where does the boundary lie (indeed, if there is one)
between the mind and the external world? Consequently, the quantum theory of
the new physics no longer claims to be describing "reality." It
describes probable realities. The new physics looks for possible
realities and finds them so elusive that no one model can exhaustively account
for everything. The indeterminacy of models has replaced earlier certainties.

          
Some, like Thomas Kuhn, even questioned the notion of science as an objective
progression towards truth. In The Structure of Scientific Revolutions
(1962), Kuhn observed that science, like religion, becomes heavily encumbered
with its own baggage of non-rational procedures. Science accumulates its
peculiar set of  presuppositions, doctrines, and even heresies. Kuhn
essentially demolished the logical empiricist and purist view that science
personified the impartial progression towards a universal truth. Instead, he
saw it as a series of shifting "paradigms"—a global way of seeing
things which is relatively immune from disconfirmation by experience. One
paradigm would hold sway for awhile, only to be displaced in a
"revolution" by another conceptual worldview.  These paradigms,
both self-contained and self-perpetuating, tended to conserve and perpetuate
their own ideas, just as religion tends to conserve and perpetuate its own
beliefs.

          
For example, Galileo declared in the early 1600s that Copernicus was correct:
The earth moves, and the sun is the center of our galaxy. The Church denounced
these views as heresies and dangerous to the Faith. They forced Galileo to
recant during a trial under the Inquisition. Although he was publicly compelled
to affirm the existing "scientific" paradigm, Galileo still defied
the authorities. After getting up from his knees, he is said to have mumbled
"E pur si muove" (nevertheless it still moves).  Placed under
house arrest, Galileo lived out the rest of his life in seclusion.

          
The world, of course, shifted paradigms to accept the Copernican worldview. The
Church, however, lagged behind, and only in 1992 did the Vatican lift the 1616
ban on the Copernican teaching. Einstein, whose theory of relativity was at
first met with skepticism and doubt, later became an icon of scientific genius.
And yet, even Einstein found himself resisting the new theories of the quantum
physicists towards the end of his life—once again adding credibility to Kuhn’s
thesis.

          
Whether Kuhn is correct or not is beside the point. His critique
illustrates a larger trend: the suspicion that science does not have absolute
answers, nor even ultimate authority. Thus, modern science presents less of a
unified front, less of a final bastion of truth. Certainly many people still
see themselves as living in a black and white world. But, in general, many
scientists are coming to define their discipline in a more humble and tentative
way. Science, for people at the turn of the century, stood for absolute, fixed
truths and principles that held good forever; it embraced and explained an unchanging
reality, or at least a reality that was changing according to constant and
predictable laws. Today we are more modest, less presumptuous. A better working
definition of science now might be “a form of inquiry into natural phenomena; a
consensus of information held at any one time and all of which may be modified
by new discoveries and new interpretations at any moment.” In contemporary
science, uncertainty seems to be the rule.

          
Thus, it grows increasingly difficult to believe in an external world governed
by mechanisms that science discloses once and for all. Thoughtful people find
themselves hesitant, unmoored, with an up-in-the-air kind of feeling regarding
the most basic facts of life. It is said that "we live in an age when
anything is possible and nothing is certain." This post-modern dilemma
highlights the felt need to reconcile facts and values, morals and machines,
science with spirituality. And while traditional Judaeo-Christian theologies
struggle to address this particularly contemporary malaise, Buddhism maneuvers
this tricky terrain with apparent ease and finds itself sought after with
renewed interest and popularity.

          
Moreover, some observers have puzzled over this anomaly: Asia accelerates in
its secular and material modernization (read "Westernization"), while
the West shows signs of a spiritual revitalization drawing on largely Asian
sources—especially Buddhism. Buddhism is being ‘Westernized’ to be seen as a
teaching that can mesh with both the good life and mitigate the stress of the
faith/reason divide. Part of Buddhism’s immense appeal lies in its analysis of
the mind, the subject/self—exactly the area where modern science now senses the
next breakthroughs are to be made.

          
The Buddha, well before Aquinas or Heisenberg, stressed the primacy of the mind
in the perception and even "creation" of reality. A central concept
of Buddhism is the idea that "everything is made from the mind." Any
distinction between subject and object is false, imagined, at best an expedient
nod to demands of conventional language. In the Avatamsaka Sutra, the
Buddha uses metaphor to elucidate: "The mind is like an artist/It can
paint an entire world. . . If a person knows the workings of the mind/As it
universally creates the world/This person then sees the Buddha/And understands
the Buddha’s true and actual nature." (Chap. 20) We think we are observing
nature, but what we are observing is our own mind at work. We are the subject
and object of our own methodology. Moreover, this mind encompasses the entirety
of the universe; there is nothing outside of it, nothing it does not contain,
according to the Buddha. 

     Such insights early on intrigued Western thinkers, as Buddhism hinted of
a new avenues of travel through the mind/matter maze. It led scientists like
Albert Einstein to declare:

The religion of the future will be cosmic
religion. It should transcend a personal God and avoid dogmas and theology.
Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious
sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual and a
meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description. . . If there is any
religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism.

The Nobel Prize winner was not alone in his
positive assessment of the Buddhism’s  potential for going beyond the
boundaries of Western thought. The British mathematician, philosopher Alfred
North Whitehead declared, "Buddhism is the most colossal example in the
history of applied metaphysics." His contemporary Bertrand Russell,
another Nobel Prize winner, found in Buddhism the greatest religion in history
because "it has had the smallest element of persecution." But beyond
the freedom of inquiry he attributed to the Buddha’s teaching, Russell
discovered a superior scientific method—one that reconciled the speculative and
the rational while investigating the ultimate questions of life:

Buddhism is a combination of both
speculative and scientific philosophy. It advocates the scientific method and
pursues that to a finality that may be called Rationalistic. In it are to be
found answers to such questions of interest as: ‘What is mind and matter? Of
them, which is of greater importance? Is the universe moving towards a goal?
What is man’s position? Is there living that is noble?’ It takes up where
science cannot lead because of the limitations of the latter’s instruments. Its
conquests are those of the mind.

          
As early as the 1940’s, the pioneering physicist Niels Bohr sensed this
congruence between modern science and what he called “Eastern mysticism.” As he
investigated atomic physics and searched for a unified field of reality, he
often used the Buddha and Lao Tzu in his discussions on physics in his classes.
He made up his own coat of arms with the yin/yang symbol on it. The American
physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer also saw in Buddhism a scientific parallel to
the puzzling riddles of modern physics; his cutting-edge discoveries seemed to
echo the enigmatic wisdom of the ancient sage. Wrote Oppeheimer:

If we ask, for instance, whether the
position of the electron remains the same, we must say ‘no;’ if we ask whether
the electron’s position changes with time, we must say ‘no;’ if we ask whether
the electron is at rest, we must say ‘no;’ if we ask whether it is in motion,
we must say ‘no.’ The Buddha has given such answers when interrogated as to the
conditions of man’s self after his death; but they are not familiar answers for
the tradition of seventeenth and eighteenth-century science.

          
In the 1970s, in The Tao Of Physics: An Exploration of the Parallels Between
Modern Physics and Eastern Mysticism,
Fritjof Capra expanded on some of
Bohr’s and Oppenheimer’s tentative impressions. He argued that modern science
and Eastern mysticism offer parallel insights into the ultimate nature of
reality. But, beyond this, Capra suggested that the profound harmony between
these concepts as expressed in systems language and the corresponding ideas of
Eastern mysticism was impressive evidence for a remarkable claim: That mystical
philosophy offers the most consistent background to our modern scientific
theories.

          
In the 1970s this notion came as something of a bombshell. Suddenly religion
and science reunited—though in a rather unexpected way—Eastern religion and
Western science. This echoed the excitement of a hundred years previous that
Carus and other late Victorians sensed in Buddhism’s potential. Then, however,
the emphasis was on how Buddhism could help establish religion on a more
scientific basis; now, it seems the other way around—that science is seeking
Buddhism to stake out its spiritual or metaphysical claims.

          
Regardless, those familiar with Buddhist texts immediately saw (or thought they
saw) the correctness of Capra’s revelation. Certain Buddhist scriptures in fact
seemed most solidly to confirm the linking of science and Dharma. The most
oft-quoted is the famous teaching called the Kalama Sutta. 

          
In this short discourse, we find the Buddha in his wanderings coming upon the
village of the Kalamas. Religious seekers themselves, the Kalamas were
bewildered by the plethora of divergent philosophies and teachers vying for
their attention. They proceeded to ask the Buddha a series of questions. Here
is the relevant portion of the text:

The Buddha once visited a small town
called Kesaputta in the kingdom of Kosala. The inhabitants of this town were
known by the common name Kalama. When they heard that the Buddha was in their
town, the Kalamas paid him a visit, and told him:

          
"Sir, there are some recluses and brahmanas who visit Kesaputta. They
explain and illumine only their own doctrines, and despise, condemn and spurn
others’ doctrines. Then come other recluses and brahmanas, and they, too, in
their turn, explain and illumine only their own doctrines, and despise, condemn
and spurn others’ doctrines. But, for us, Sir, we have always doubt and
perplexity as to who among these venerable recluses and brahmanas spoke the
truth, and who spoke falsehood."

          
"Yes, Kalamas, it is proper that you have doubt, that you have perplexity,
for a doubt has arisen in a matter which is doubtful. Now, look you Kalamas, do
not be led by reports, or tradition, or hearsay. Be not led by the authority of
religious texts, not by mere logic or inference, nor by considering
appearances, nor by the delight in speculative opinions, nor by seeming
possibilities, nor by the idea: ‘this is our teacher’. But O Kalamas, when you
know for yourselves that certain things are unwholesome (akusala), and wrong,
and bad, then give them up…And when you know for yourselves that certain
things are wholesome (kusala) and good, then accept them and follow them."

          
The Kalamas voiced their doubts, their perplexity in determining truth or
falsehood, as a result of having been exposed to all the competing teachers and
doctrines of India at the time: not unlike our modern world today. Each
teacher, each school, expounded different and often conflicting notions of the truth.
The Buddha’s response was to set down a methodology that was in many ways ahead
of its time in anticipating the skeptical empiricism of the modern scientific
method.

          
He said, “Do not be led by reports, or tradition, or hearsay. Don’t be led by
the authority even of religious texts, nor by mere logic or inference, nor by
considering appearances”—all of which eliminate exclusive reliance on cultural
convention, received tradition, and deductive speculation, as well as mere
sense impressions. Also rejected were opinions and "seeming
possibilities"—the stuff of preconceived bias and subjective imagination
and fancy. (Some might argue that being "led by appearances" would
include a narrow scientific method, at least as it has come to be popularly
understood—i.e. an exaggerated reliance on natural phenomena as the only basis
of what is true or real. It would also dismiss the equally exaggerated claim
that scientific knowledge is the only valid kind of knowledge.The Buddha even
discounts blind faith in one’s teacher.

          
So what’s left? Here the Buddha lays out a subtle and quite unique
epistemology: “Oh Kalamas, when you know for yourselves that certain things are
unwholesome and wrong and bad, then give them up. And when you know that certain
things are wholesome and good, then accept them and follow them.” But how to
interpret this key passage?

          
Many scholars and believers, both recently and at the turn of the century,
jumped at this passage as confirmation that ancient Buddhist wisdom validates
modern science. Early popularizers of Eastern religions in America like
Anagarika Dharmapala, D. T. Suzuki, Paul Carus, and even Vedantists like
Vivekananda, generally waxed enthusiastic about the compatibility of Eastern
spirituality and Western science. They saw in passages like the Kalama Sutta
proof positive that the Buddha prefigured the modern scientific outlook.
Buddhism seemed eminently scientific: detached skeptical investigation of
empirically testable phenomena; no faith, no dogma, no revelation. Experiments
carried out by and confirmed by individuals regardless of time or place
suggested "intersubjective testability"—one of the hallmarks of the
scientific method. I do it, you do it; anyone can do it and obtain the same
results. That Buddhism and science should be so nearly identical was
understandably immensely appealing; it is also misleading.

          
While American thinkers and newly converted Western Buddhists thought they saw
a natural fit between Buddhism and science, Buddhist teachers more steeped in
the traditional discipline were less apologetic and often more critical of such
facile comparisons. Two notable contemporary examples come to mind: Master
Hsuan Hua, from the Mahayana tradition, and Wapola Rahula, a Theravada
scholar-monk, both threw cold water on this notion. 

          
The Venerable Hsuan Hua, a Ch’an and Tripitika master from China, arrived in
America in the early 1960s to propagate the Dharma in the West. As he observed
and studied the trends and currents of contemporary thought, he showed little
enthusiasm for what seemed to him the exaggerated claims of modern
science—theoretical or applied. He said, “Within the limited world of the
relative, that is where science is. It’s not an absolute Dharma. Science
absolutely cannot bring true and ultimate happiness to people, neither
spiritually nor materially.” This is strong criticism that portrays science as
a discipline limited to relative truths, and as an unsatisfactory way of life.
In another essay, he wrote:

Look at modern science. Military weapons
are modernized every day and are more and more novel every month. Although we
call this progress, it’s nothing more than progressive cruelty. Science takes
human life as an experiment, as child’s play, as it fulfills its desires
through force and oppression.

 

     In 1989, Venerable
Walpola Rahula, a Theravadin monk from Sri Lanka, also warned that daily life
is being permeated by science. He cautioned, “We have almost become slaves of
science and technology; soon we shall be worshipping it.” His comments come
well into the final decades of the twentieth century, when many people had in
effect turned science into a religious surrogate. The Venerable monk observed,
“Early symptoms are that they tend to seek support from science to prove the
validity of our religions.” Walpola Rahula elaborated on this point:

We justify them [i.e. religions] and make them modern, up-to-date,
respectable, and accessible. Although this is somewhat well intentioned, it is
ill-advised. While there are some similarities and parallel truths, such as the
nature of the atom, the relativity of time and space, or the quantum view of
the interdependent, interrelated whole, all these things were developed by
insight and purified by meditation.

Rahula’s critique
goes to the heart of the matter: the capitulation of religion to scientific
positivism; the yielding of almost all competing schemes of values to the
scientific juggernaut. Huston Smith, the eminent scholar on the worlds
religions, recently said that the weakness of modern religions in the West
stems from their successful accommodation to culture. The contribution that
Buddhism and other religions can make to the spiritual crisis facing modern
society, therefore, may not lie in their compatibility with science, but in
their ability to offer something that science cannot.

          
More importantly, as Rahula argues, Dharma, or abiding spiritual truths, were
discovered without the help of any external instrument. Rahula concluded, “It
is fruitless, meaningless to seek support from science to prove religious
truth. It is incongruous and preposterous to depend on changing scientific
concepts to prove and support perennial religious truths.” Moreover, he echoes
the deeper moral concerns expressed by Master Hua regarding the unexamined aims
and consequences of the scientific endeavor:

Science is interested in the precise
analysis and study of the material world, and it has no heart. It knows nothing
about love or compassion or righteousness or purity of mind. It doesn’t know
the inner world of humankind. It only knows the external, material world that
surrounds us.

Rahula then
suggests that the value of Buddhism redoubles, not as it can be made to seem
more scientific, but in its reaffirming a different sensibility, an overarching
and unyielding vision of humanity’s higher potential. He concludes
emphatically:

On the contrary, religion, particularly
Buddhism, aims at the discovery and the study of humankind’s inner world:
ethical, spiritual, psychological, and intellectual. Buddhism is a spiritual
and psychological discipline that deals with humanity in total. It is a way of
life. It is a path to follow and practice. It teaches man how to develop his
moral and ethical character, which in Sanskrit is sila, and to cultivate his
mind, samadhi, and to realize the ultimate truth, prajna wisdom, Nirvana.

          
Both of these eminent monks pre-date and, in many ways, stand outside the
popularization and "Westernization" of Buddhism. Unlike the
Western-leaning translators of Buddhism Carus, Suzuki, Dharmapala, et al., they
emerged from a monastic discipline grounded in a more traditional
understanding, one less enamored of modern science and more critical of Western
philosophy. They would not so readily concur with Sir Edwin Arnold, who wrote
in his best-selling Light of Asia (1879) that "between Buddhism and
modern science there exists a close intellectual bond."

          
With this in mind, it would do well to take another look at the passage quoted
above from the Kalama Sutta:

But O Kalamas, when you know for
yourselves that certain things are unwholesome (akusala), and wrong, and bad,
then give them up…And when you know for yourselves that certain things are
wholesome (kusala) and good, then accept them and follow them.

          
These lines, I believe, hold the key to understanding the difference between
Buddhism and modern science. The passage needs to be understood not simply as a
nod to Western empiricism, but within a specific context of moral inquiry. This
"knowing for yourself" locates knowledge (’scientia’) firmly within
the moral sphere, both in its aims and its outcomes. It employs a meditative
form of insight to penetrate the ultimate nature of reality. It implies a
concept quite foreign to modern science: that the knower and what is known, the
subject and object, fact and value, are not merely non-dual, but that knowledge
itself is inescapably influenced by our moral and ethical being. Perhaps this
is exactly what Suzuki intuited was lacking in modern science when he wrote in
1959, "I now think that a religion based solely on science is not enough.
There are certain ‘mythological’ elements in every one of us, which cannot be
altogether lost in favor of science."

          
Regardless, none of this critical reassessment should come as a surprise to
thoughtful Buddhists. The Shurangama Sutra clearly notes, "when the
seed planted is crooked, the fruit will be distorted." The close link
between intention and result, cause and effect, is central to all Buddhist
philosophy. It should be obvious and expected that the very fabric of modern
science, lacking as it does a firm grounding in the moral sphere, would result
in deleterious discoveries and incomplete uses. Tragic examples abound
attesting to the ill-fated marriage of scientific technology and human
ignorance.

          
Nor, from a Buddhist perspective, can these examples be seen as unintended
consequences or accidents—they are, rather, unavoidable and logical outcomes of
a partial though powerful system of thought. There is nothing in science per
se
that would lead one to equate its advancement with increased social
benefits and enhanced human values. And certainly the absence of ethical
imperatives should alert any knowledgeable Buddhist to a fundamental flaw in
equating the Eightfold Way with the practice of science. In fact, a close
reading of the Buddhist sources, it seems, would lead one to question: Is
science in itself sufficient for describing reality? Is it capable of meeting
human needs?

          
Thus, the aforementioned Kalamas passage, depending on one’s frame of
reference, could be seen more as a critique of than a correspondence with
modern science. The key to understanding this difference lies in a correct Buddhist
interpretation of "know for yourselves," "wholesome," and
"unwholesome." As Walpola Rahula indicates, these concepts are part
of a specific and disciplined form or methodology of self-cultivation which,
when diligently practiced, leads to true knowledge and wisdom. This method is
referred to in Buddhism as the "three non-outflow science" (san wu
lou xue), and consists of morality, concentration, and wisdom (Sanskrit:
sila, samadhi, prajna).

          
The ethical component cannot be overemphasized, as "seeing things as they
really are" entails an indispensable preliminary: "purification of
the mind." This clarity of mind and concentrated awareness in turn begins
with and must be sustained by moral conduct. The Visuddhimagga (Path of
Purification), an early Buddhist manual compiled in the 4th century by
Buddhagosha, lists the Buddha’s "science" of inquiry as an
interrelated three-step exercise of virtue, meditation, and insight. This is
quite a different approach to knowledge than a modern-day scientist would
presume or pursue. It is interesting that these ancient wisdom traditions
considered moral purity as the absolute prerequisite of true knowledge, and
that we today regard it as immaterial, if not downright irrelevant. Thus,
fundamental and qualitatively different views of what constitutes knowledge and
the acquisition of knowledge separate Buddhism and science.

          
Aspects of the above epistemological formula appear throughout the Asian
religious traditions. For example, Taoism speaks of cultivating the mind
(hsin), regarding it as the repository of perceptions and knowledge—it rules
the body, it is spiritual and like a divinity that will abide "only where
all is clean." Thus the Kuan Tzu (4 to 3rd century B.C.) cautions
that "All people desire to know, but they do not inquire into that whereby
one knows." It specifies:

What all people desire to know is that
(i.e., the external world),

But their means of knowing is this (i.e.
oneself);

How can we know that?

Only by the perfection of this.  1 

          
Are we studying ourselves when we think we are studying nature? Will the
"new science" eventually come to Kuan Tzu’s conclusion that only “by
perfecting this," can we truly know that?  These
ancient writings raise an interesting question: How accurate and objective can
be the observation if the observer is flawed and imperfect? Is the relationship
between "consciousness" and matter as distinct as we are inclined to
believe?

          
The "perfection" mentioned above refers to the cultivation of moral
qualities and in Buddhist terminology, the elimination of
"afflictions" (klesa) such as greed, anger, ignorance, pride,
selfishness, and emotional extremes. It seems less an alteration of
consciousness than a purification and quieting of the mind. Mencius talks of
obtaining an "unmoving mind" at age forty, again referring to the
cultivation of an equanimity resulting from the exercise of moral sense. He
distinguished between knowledge acquired from mental activity and knowledge
gained from intuitive insight. This latter knowledge he considered superior as
it gives noumenal as well as phenomenal understanding. Advaita Vedanta, the
philosophical teaching of Hinduism, as well emphasizes that jnana (knowledge)
requires a solid basis in ethics (Dharma). Chuang Tzu, spoke of acquiring
knowledge of "the ten thousand things" (i.e., of all nature) through
virtuous living and practicing stillness: "to a mind that is ’still’ the
whole universe surrenders." 2  Even Confucius’s famous passage concerning the highest learning (da xue)
connects utmost knowledge of the universe to the cultivation of one’s person
and the rectification of one’s mind.
3 

          
The challenge from these eminent Buddhist teachers to the nearly ex cathedra
authority generally accorded to science should give pause to anyone
attempting a facile identification of Buddhism with science. Their aims and
methods, though tantalizingly parallel, upon closer analysis diverge.
Correspondences do exist, but fundamental differences inhere as well. To gloss
over them not only encourages sloppy thinking, but approaches hubris. So we
must ask: to what extent is our conception of science as the arbiter of
knowledge culture-bound, even myopic? Could our near total faith in science
blind us to an inherent bias in such a stance: we presume that the logic,
norms, and procedures of the scientific method are universally applicable and
their findings are universally valid. Science may not only have limited relevance
for interpreting Buddhism, but may distort our very understanding of its
meaning.

          
Thus, in a quest to reach an easy and elegant reconciliation of faith and
reason, we may unwittingly fall prey to "selective
perception"—noticing and embracing only those elements of Buddhism that
seem consonant with our way of thinking and giving short shrift to the rest.
Overplaying the similarities between science and Buddhism can lead into a
similar trap, where our dominant Western thought-way (science) handicaps rather
than helps us to understand another worldview. In Buddhism, this is called
"the impediment of what is known."

          
It may prove more salutary to allow Buddhism to "rub us the wrong
way" — to challenge our preconceptions and habitual ways, to
remain strange and different from anything to which we have been accustomed. To
borrow a metaphor from Henry Clarke Warren, we might enjoy a "walking in
Fairyland" in shoes that do not quite fit:

A large part of the pleasure that I have
experienced in the study of Buddhism has arisen from what I may call the
strangeness of the intellectual landscape. All the ideas, the modes of
argument, even the postulates assumed and not argued about, have always seemed
so strange, so different from anything to which I have been accustomed, that I
felt all the time as though walking in Fairyland. Much of the charm that the
Oriental thoughts and ideas have for me appears to be because they so seldom
fit into Western categories.

Can’t. Absurd. Unrealistic.

March 10th, 2006 by honheesiew

Can’t.

Four letters. No more, no less. Three of them grant you permission to conquer the world. One deprives you of the glory. “It can’t be done”, “Don’t bother”-they say- “Many others have tried before and failed”.

So you listen to those voices and surrender your hopes, returning to the comfort of the explored and the console of the ordinary. Or perhaps not. Maybe you hear those voices but don’t listen to them. And when the words “impossible”, “unattainable”, or “can’t” are pronounced what echoes instead in your soul are “dreams”, “passion” and “will”.

Absurd.

How terrifying. How beautiful. The absurd lies in the depth of your imagination soothed by the lullaby of the lowest common denominator. It lives in your heart and dies in your head. Face it for the first time and excitement envelopes you. Praise the absurd.

For only those who attempt it will attain the impossible.

Unrealistic.

A word created to inspire fear and doubt. An adjective born to undermine the will. A spear to pierce the heart of dreams. A pretext to accept defeat. An alibi for the irresolute and an excuse for mediocrity.

Above all, the voice of those who don’t dare against those who truly believe.

From a Mercedes Benz Ad.

Human Behaviour

November 1st, 2005 by honheesiew

If you ever get close to a human
And human behaviour
Be ready be ready to get confused

There’s definitely definitely definitely no logic
To human behaviour
But yet so yet so irresistible

And there’s no map to human behaviour

They’re terribly terribly terribly terribly moody
Then all of a sudden turn happy
But, oh, to get involved in the exchange
Of human emotions
Is ever so ever so satisfying

And there’s no map
And a compass wouldn’t help at all

Bjork

The Flash

September 30th, 2005 by honheesiew

In a pitch
black
forest, you feel lost and without a sense of direction.
You try to grapple with your flailing hands, hoping to grab onto something that
can give you a false sense of relief that untold miseries are delayed. You feel
a fleeting joy, you tell yourself that the darkness is here so that you can see
the light. Suddenly, like an unexpected kiss that invokes protuberant euphoria,
you catch, in the corner of your eye, a flash that illuminates the entire
labyrinth. In this moment, everything makes sense.

End of another chapter

August 9th, 2005 by honheesiew

death is a fact of life. physical and emotional death, there is no escape from its clutches. perhaps it is freedom that death should signify, instead, our conditioned perception takes death with morbid fear, the fear of the unknown. could it be that if we lose that fear, the fear of death, there is nothing left to fear and we will really attain freedom because we will not be subjected to the threats of death and we will kowtow no more to injustice and oppression?

my grandfather passed on today. another chapter of my life has ended. in the last 3 years, there had been a few chapters that ended quite abruptly by death. as for this chapter, i saw it coming for some time. my grandfather had been a living dead for more than 3 years. he became somewhat vegetated as old age took away his mobility and memory. without the mind, the body is just a shell. i remember the days of my childhood sitting on his lap as he smoked, much to the chagrin of my grandmother. he would take me and my cousins downstairs for play and we would always get ice-cream from this particular man on a bike. i still see this old man selling the same ice cream from time to time. my grandfather was a great portrait artist. even when i was young, i was amazed at how he could wield a pencil and draw portraits with such indelible likeness. my cousins and i were often his subjects. i used to try to emulate his drawing and failed miserably. he used to go chinatown then during the weekends and would return with traditional chinese biscuits which can only be found now at old kopitiams. i remember awaiting his return excitedly.

in a flash, with the news of his death sweeping over me, all these moments and memories came flooding in. images of those incidents are still quite vivid in my mind. my emotional attachment to him deteriorated over the years as i grew older and lived with my parents. he is a chapter in my life, a chapter of a book that is still being written. he may be gone physically but my memory of him keeps him alive. as this chapter comes to a halt, like many other chapters in my life, a new one is being written.

i bade him farewell. 16 August 2004.

Lil’ Georgia of Santorini

August 2nd, 2005 by honheesiew

Lil’ Georgia of Santorini, who is she? I have this little girl in my memory for so long and many have wondered who is this little girl. Let me elucidate.

This little girl was someone that I chanced upon and who left an indelible mark in my memory when I was in Santorini, Greece. To let you understand her true significance, I have to let you know the background of this chance meeting. I was backpacking back in 2003 in Western and Eastern Europe and Greece was my final stop in Europe before I head to Bangkok. Throughout my trip, there wasn’t much of a hiccup or anything that I could complain much about the places I had visited except Budapest, but I’ll leave that detail out for now.

Greece, from my experience, was the land of all imaginable fuckups that could happen in a trip. The beginning was already ominous. My Israeli friend Hilla was supposed to meet me in Athens. I had not met her since I met her in 2000 in Israel and I had planned my trip so that I could meet her in Athens while my traveling mates would be heading Italy. She broke the bad news to me when I was in Poland that she couldn’t meet me because her employer had ran off with her salary and she was too broke to travel. I had already booked my flight. I was utterly disappointed. The first sign of things to come.

I stayed in London for a night at my friend’s apartment as I couldn’t get a budget flight that coincided with my return flight from Berlin. My London friend was going to Greece with me and he had to leave 6 hours earlier as we couldn’t get seats for both of us on the same flight. The 1st fuckup occured. I sent him off to the tube station only to find out soon after that he forgot to pass me his apartment keys. I was locked out with my backpack in his apartment. I waited for his house mate to return 3 hours later and had to rush to the airport to catch my flight.

Here comes the 2nd fuckup.  The train broke down in London’s archaic and filthy underground tunnel with hordes of people jam packed like sardines. (The first stop of my backpack trip was in London and I stayed there for 5 days. Throughout my stay in London, the infamous tube didn’t break down.) It was inching bit by bit to the next station and I was panicking. Fortunately, I had a distraction. There was this Italian guy ranting and gesticulating feverishly about how he is screwed for the second time. He had missed his earlier flight on the same day because the train broke down and now it happened to him again! I found out that he was on the same flight with me to Athens. I was rather amused at his predicament. As the train painstakingly crawled to the next station, I took the connecting train to the airport with my heart in my mouth. I had an hour left before departure time. Upon reaching the airport tube station, I discovered that I had to take a bus from the tube station to the airport. Wonderful. I ran with the Italian guy and begged the bus driver to start his engine as we had a flight to catch. 15 mins left before departure time. At the check-in counter, we had to beg again to be let in for our flight. Our sorry tale of the screwed up tube warranted their sympathy. We got on our flight 10 min later than departure time and had to endure the disapproving looks of the passengers. What a way to start my Greece trip.

Greece, the once cultural epicenter of the world boasts of many historical jewels that still leave us in awe. Much of what remain requires a lot of imagination to bring to life of what words so inadequately tries to describe.

I landed in the wee hours of the morning and looked for my London friend waiting for me in the airport. All seemed well until my first encounter with a Greek. Greeks are notoriously rude but I thought I had prepared well myself when I had visited Israel. Then my friend and I discovered another fatal flaw about them. They are liars as well. We were trying to get a place to bunk in and had decided to try for this particular area known for its relatively cheap accommodation. We asked for direction from 4 Greeks and each of them gave us different and WRONG directions. We finally found the area through sheer luck. There was more. We chose a modest motel and the receptionist was an Indian Greek. This guy turned out to be our unexpected nightmare. As we thought that he was a local, he would know the RIGHT direction to get to certain places. We were wrong. He gave us WRONG directions ALL THE TIME. He told us that the place we wanted to go was nearby and made us walked for long distance only to discover that we ended up on the wrong side of the map. We stopped trusting Greeks thereon. I stayed in Athens for 2 nights, bad choice, and had already seen enough of the Acropolis. There was nothing much else to visit in Athens. The rest of the historical attractions were not in Athens and cost 100 Euros and above for an overnight trip. It just wasn’t worth it to pay so much for stones and rocks and galaxies of imagination.

We had planned to catch a ferry for the islands in the morning after we checked out only to discover that the ferries were fully booked. It was our fault, as we didn’t book in advance. The next available ferry was 10.30pm. We had more than 12 hours to kill. We went to a local beach where no tourists ventured. We received dagger stares that could perforate even the most advanced tank armor. I had received stares in Zakopane, Poland, but those stares only made me feel like I was from Mars or an exotic animal in a zoo. 2 chinks walking on THEIR beach was probably very offensive for the Greeks. Nevertheless, the next fuckup happened. The ferry was late, 2 hours exactly. Soon, I learnt that schedules in Greece never worked. Everything was inefficient.

The first island we went to was Ios. It was an arduous 8 hours ferry ride to reach the island from Athens. It didn’t look that far on the map but the ferry had to drop by every island along the way and that explained the snail pace. Ios was alright, nice beaches with plethora of babes sunbathing. The sun was scorching and the island was filled with tourists from all over Europe. Geek islands are popular destinations for Europeans in the summer. We stayed in Flying Pigs at Mylopotas Beach. The ferry for our next destination, the island Santorini, was once again late. It was an hour plus late.

Santorini is a volcanic island with black sand beaches, Perissa and Perivolos, and a dormant volcano. The port was located 20 min away from the rest of civilization and we had to take a cab. We chose a motel, cheaper than most but was quite a distance from the beach. I was pretty skint by then. I only had 2 days in Santorini and I bought the return ferry ride to Athens upon arriving Santorini. The ferry departure time was 8pm. As I didn’t have much time and money left, we decided to do a day tour to one of the volcanic island, Nea Kameni, to fully utilize whatever I had, on the day that I was leaving. The scheduled end for the day tour was 5pm. I figured I had more than enough time to pack my stuff back in the motel room and to take a bus to the port for my ferry at 6pm. The drop off point at the end of the tour was 15 min walk from our motel. I was down to 50 euros and it was to last me all the way to Athens aiport the next day.

Alas, disaster struck again. The tour ended late, 2 hours late. That wasn’t the best part. We were dropped off at the wrong point, a good 35 min walk from our motel! My ferry was at 8pm. We ran with our cracked soles, caused by the extreme hot and dry climate, back to our motel room. It was a pandemonium. We got the motel staff to call a cab that cost 15 euros just to get to the port. It was 7.45pm. I got into the cab at 7.50pm. Now, from my experience that the ferry was always late, never once departed on time, I felt safe, knowing that I had a good chance of catching my ride, even though I was late. I couldn’t help but laugh moments later. The cab driver understood my desperate situation and drove with lightning pace. As I was reaching the port, I saw my ferry leaving. It was 8.02pm. Splendid. Excellent. FUCK! Missing this ferry meant I would miss my flight to Bangkok the next day. What am I going to do? I was so fucking broke, down to my last 35 euros.

I was so lost. I went to the ferry booking counter and asked the lady what was my alternative. She told me I had to take a flight from Santorini to Athens in order to catch my flight to Bangkok. It will cost me 80 euros, excluding my taxi ride from the port to the airport. I didn’t have that kind of money! I tried to contact my London friend, who was leaving a few days later than me but the reception was poor and I couldn’t get him. With 35 euros, and apparently no alternative and time running short, I was doomed. The cab driver saw my plight and pitied me. He didn’t want to take the 15 euros for the cab ride but I insisted because even with 50 euros, I was still doomed. Then the first “miracle” happened. He talked to the lady behind the counter in Greek. After 5 min of talking, the lady “discovered” that there was indeed an alternative that I could afford! There was a ferry to Mykonos island and from there, I could take a connecting ferry ride to Athens and I still would be able to catch my flight. It cost 30 euros. Why didn’t she say earlier?! I didn’t know what the cab driver spoke to her about but it worked. I was too relieved to be angry that the lady caused me unnecessary anxiety. The ferry was at 10.30pm. Down to 5 euros to last me till Athens.

This entire Greece trip was fuckup. I was pissed that I had pay another 30 euros because of the fucking day tour earlier. With 5 euros, I couldn’t get myself a decent meal, as I would need at least 3 euros to take the bus to Athens airport from the port. Hungry, lonely, pissed, I went to the cash point hoping for another miracle. My friend was supposed to transfer me some cash into my account and I was hoping that the transfer was completed although I knew it would take at least a day and I had only told him earlier in the day. I was to be disappointed.

Just as I was at the cash point feeling dejected, I felt a tug. I looked to my left and saw this little blonde girl, not more than 3 years old, gesturing me to let her play with the cash point buttons. I carried her up and let her pressed the buttons. She grinned cheekily and with her tiny fingers, pushed the buttons as if she understood what she was doing. She was talking to me all the time and I couldn’t understand a single word. It sounded like Greek (pardon the pun) but I guess it was baby talk. Next, she held my index finger with her tiny hand and dragged me to a café next to the ferry booking counter. There were eyes peering inquisitively at the sight of a toddler with a Chinese sporting a punk hairdo in tow. She wanted me to play with her. She sat down on the café sidewalk next to empty tables and chairs and gestured that I sit next to her. “Come here, sit next to me.” She seemed to tell me with her gesticulation. She was indeed precocious, having no fear of engaging strangers, especially a species that she probably never seen before. I sat next to her and she just went on with her baby talk. Her innocence suddenly struck me, how I had lost it, how so many of the ‘grown-ups’ had lost it, the isolation and inhibition we incarcerate ourselves in, she taught me things I couldn’t fathom entirely. There was a slope beside the sidewalk and we ran up and down. I felt like a kid again. Time seemed to stop and I knew that this was a moment immortalized, a moment that I would reminisce for a long time.

As with every beautiful moment, forever came and left. Her parents came to pick her up and we had to bid farewell. She didn’t want to leave and her parents had to carry her off. Our “friendship” was fleeting and it was beautiful. I forgot my dire situation, I was transported to another dimension, I escaped, at least for some time. As her parents took her to their car, she kept looking back at me with sadness in her eyes. She waved me goodbye as the car slowly disappeared in a distance. I didn’t know her name. I left my camera in the motel room so I couldn’t take a picture of her. I went back to the ferry booking counter and asked the lady. She told me she was the daughter of the café owner next door and she was always around playing on her own. She wrote me her name on paper. Her name was Georgia.

I had a dolphin crystal with a handcrafted wooden box bought in Krakow, Poland, and I gave it to the lady. I told her to pass this little gift to Georgia.

Ever since then, I wondered if that bloody lady did pass the gift to Georgia. I hope she did but I would never know. Will Georgia remember me? Probably not. I was probably a passing playmate, kids’ memory at that age is a blur. She would probably wake up the next morning not remembering much about the stranger last night who played with her. What would she be doing now? She is probably 5 or 6 by now. Is she going to school now? So many questions, so few answers. I tell myself that I will visit Santorini one day and hope to see her again, at the same café.

Back to reality. It wasn’t the end of my nightmare. Let me finish on my Greek disaster. I reached Mykonos port at 4am. It was freezing. I had earlier tried to sleep on the open decks on the ferry. The winds were merciless and I only had a thin windbreaker. At the port, there was only a couple sleeping on the other end of the port. It was a rundown port with dusty benches. I felt like a drifter. The connecting ferry was at 8.30am. I tried to catch some sleep.

At 7.30am, I woke up. The port was still empty with the couple and me. It looked odd. Are we the only ones taking the connecting ferry? Only 3 of us? Something was wrong. I went to talk to them and they felt something was amiss. Fortunately, the girl, her name was Beatrice, was a Greek who could speak 5 languages, Greek, Italian, Spanish, German and English. Her boyfriend was Italian, his name was Frederico, a Milan fan. She asked the locals around and true to our horror, we were at the wrong port for the connecting ferry! It was 8.10am already. I was fuming. Why didn’t that bitch tell me that? If I had not met this couple, I would be fucking done by. They called a cab and gave me a free ride to the other port. With 5 euros left, I could only afford to buy the 2 of them hot tea to repay them. I was lucky to have met them, the only saving grace of my nightmare. And Georgia as well.

So now, Lil Georgia of Santorini, etched in my memory, brimming with life in my heart, was the light in my darkness for a temporal time. Yet, its very impermanence, paradoxically, gave it eternity. Such is life.